I'm just mean.

Ok followers, Today I feel really, really bad. I was not very nice to my sweet husband yesterday. We went to walk on the track again! I was so ready , I devoted most of my energy to the first lap, Tim was saying, "Slow down Danielle, you are going to get to tired and you will be to worn out to finish." I ignored him, after all, I am getting pretty good at this walking thing and I am ready to roll. As a matter of fact, I could probably jog the last lap! Why does he always have to be RIGHT?? I know why, he has done his before and he knows what he is talking about! Towards the end of the first lap and I'm winded again and my legs are very shaky. I still continued on, beginning of the third lap , I am ready to quit. Tim said," I told you to walk at a slow pace and keep it up." Here is where it got .......mean...?? I said, " Shut up, Tim! Why do you have to keep talking? I am trying to concentrate and you are getting on my nerves!!" We continued on and he pushed me the whole way....but he is so sweet about it. The last lap we reversed therefore, we were walking upward. Boy, that was hard! My legs were burning, I was sweating, I felt that little ball in my throat that I get before I cry.....Tim grabbed my hand without saying anything and I shunned him. He's just trying to help, I know, but this is the hardest thing I believe I've ever done. It wasn't this hard for me when I was playing softball or tap dancing. I let myself get this way and I'm disguested! It's going to be difficult, it's going to be hard, it's going to be exhausting, but the way I see it, I have someone that WANTS to help and be there and LOVE me through it all. I should be Thankful and I am , I just get very ill at times when things are out of my control or they control me! So , finishing the last of our last lap I really want to stop and fall out!! I start to remember why I am doing this and I think of everyone who has left sweet comments, sent encouraging text, and care enough to continue reading my blog and rooting for me. I just want to be a better, happier, healthy person. I can do so much more for myself, my family, and the Lord if I were happy with me. I feel like a failure at times but I promised not to give up this time. Even in my weakest moments.....I get a little bit stronger.