Stuck in the mud.

Well Friends. I am a slacker. We haven't walked lately because of the weather and my new business is really kicking off! I honestly stay busy, other than my full time job. I am still cutting down portions and watching my in-take. I can tell a difference as well in my clothing. Here lately I havent felt swollen and just icky! :) Slow results are better for me anyway, the weight is more likely to stay off if it is done slowly. I need the motivation and the kicks in the rear ! I am so happy though, that I have not fallen off the track , just the walking track. lol. I plan of picking back up very, very soon. I have found a new love for mushrooms....I love them on anything.....as long as they are cooked. I have also added lettuce to my sandwiches. I know it doesn't seem like much but it is a huge accomplishment for me :) I pray that Tim celebrates Valentine's Day with "no sugar" added treats ....hummmm. I am patiently waiting for the vanishing of the "double chin", I am so excited...it looks like it has shrunk a little , not a substantial amount but enough to make me proud! :) I will be back tomorrow...Happy Valentines day everybody!

Cowboy boots and painted on jeans.

Body Image. Mine is gross. My bff has the cutest physique! I'm kind of jealous in a way, because she looks good in everything..... cowboy boots are her favorite. She had a baby in 2007 and even pregnant, she was delightful! Her body went right back to the way it was before. She is beautiful inside and out and her hair is always perfect! I want to know what it is like to wear tight jeans.....not in a filthy, trashy way but in an attractive ( to my husband) modest kind of way. I've always seen myself , for years, in a cute white button-up shirt with faded, tight jeans, and cowboy boots WEIGHING about 150. Very, very cute jewelry and hair-cut,too! You know Dancing(line dancing) is one of my favorite past times, that's why I say boots. Though, I can still drop it like it's hot, but it's difficult and quite painful to pick it back up! I know my vision sounds silly, but I want to see myself that way! I am so ready to be attractive and gorgeous! Not for other people ,but for myself. I have so many beautiful friends, I want to fit in!! :) I am doing well so far....I've got to admit, I cheated a little bit last night- I had noodles at the Chinese place :( NOT A LOT, I promise!! Still on the water to the point that it repulses me to look at it. I just keep thinking, it will all be worth it one day!! This whole process is teaching me patience.......I bit off all my fingernails.

Shake your tail feathers.

Hey people. I haven't been on the lifestyle change long , But I am so proud to announce that I am wearing a pair of khakis today that I couldn't even button weeks ago! Praise God! :) Now, that makes me happy! I am so glad I haven't given up already....it's a big thanks to all of my supporters! We didn't walk last night, but before you start giving me the evil eye ,let me explain. It was raining and COLD! I love the cold weather ,but it was just to cold ,and I am so susceptible to sicknesses so I didn't want to risk it. Looks like we may be facing brutial Mr. Winter a few more times before SPRING so, my solution....Wii Dance!! That's right , when the weather doesn't permit, I will be Shaking my tail feather in my living room!! That's going to burn calaries, Back to my dropping it like it's hot days! Also, I found a new snack that I love, love, love-Fiber One-Chocolate Mocha-it has %35 daily value of fiber! Still on the water! FYI: Diet Dr. Pepper taste just like regular Dr. Pepper! :) That's all for today! Love you ALL!

I'm just mean.

Ok followers, Today I feel really, really bad. I was not very nice to my sweet husband yesterday. We went to walk on the track again! I was so ready , I devoted most of my energy to the first lap, Tim was saying, "Slow down Danielle, you are going to get to tired and you will be to worn out to finish." I ignored him, after all, I am getting pretty good at this walking thing and I am ready to roll. As a matter of fact, I could probably jog the last lap! Why does he always have to be RIGHT?? I know why, he has done his before and he knows what he is talking about! Towards the end of the first lap and I'm winded again and my legs are very shaky. I still continued on, beginning of the third lap , I am ready to quit. Tim said," I told you to walk at a slow pace and keep it up." Here is where it got .......mean...?? I said, " Shut up, Tim! Why do you have to keep talking? I am trying to concentrate and you are getting on my nerves!!" We continued on and he pushed me the whole way....but he is so sweet about it. The last lap we reversed therefore, we were walking upward. Boy, that was hard! My legs were burning, I was sweating, I felt that little ball in my throat that I get before I cry.....Tim grabbed my hand without saying anything and I shunned him. He's just trying to help, I know, but this is the hardest thing I believe I've ever done. It wasn't this hard for me when I was playing softball or tap dancing. I let myself get this way and I'm disguested! It's going to be difficult, it's going to be hard, it's going to be exhausting, but the way I see it, I have someone that WANTS to help and be there and LOVE me through it all. I should be Thankful and I am , I just get very ill at times when things are out of my control or they control me! So , finishing the last of our last lap I really want to stop and fall out!! I start to remember why I am doing this and I think of everyone who has left sweet comments, sent encouraging text, and care enough to continue reading my blog and rooting for me. I just want to be a better, happier, healthy person. I can do so much more for myself, my family, and the Lord if I were happy with me. I feel like a failure at times but I promised not to give up this time. Even in my weakest moments.....I get a little bit stronger.

You call it tomato....I call it gross.

Well, after the weekend, I'm back. The recent struggle is vegetables. I need to eat a salad and believe it or not I want too, I really do. Tim is so good at eating healthy things. I absolutely hate TOMATOES! The sight of them makes me gag uncontrollably. I love ketchup!! I am the kind of person that, I put ketchup on my ketchup! Another thing I HATE , MAYONNAISE! That's probably good though, it's bad for you. Okay, I am going to list the other items that absolutely repulse me on every level....it doesn't matter how you cook them!
1. Balogna- I will throw up!
2. Hot-Dogs- Sick!
3. Avacado
4. Onion
5. Green Peppers
6. Sour Cream
7. Any meat that is pacakged!
8. Fast food meat- gag me out!
The reason I am sharing this is because I am going to pick the healthy things from this list and try to fit them into ONE of my meals this week. I am going to go for 3, 4, 5, the rest is bad for you anyway! I promise to try tomatoes, also. A lifestyle change has to be something that is going to continue, therefore, I am going broaden my horizen in food choices. Last night for dinner I had : 3 egg whites scrambled, 2 pieces of wheat toast (no butter) and 1 piece of sausage. I was proud of myself. I made myself a parfait for dessert : half of a banana , 1 cup of strawberry yogurt (yoplait) and grapes on top. I put it in the freezer for about 30 minutes. It was delicious!!! If any of you guys have any suggestions or comments , please let me know! I am very open-minded on recipes and opinions. Well, be careful with the opinions , depending on what day it is, I could possibly get ghetto if you offend me! (jk)
I want to also Thank everyone who has taken time to read my blog. I received so many uplifting comments! It means so much to me that all of my friends, even from the past, have written me encouraging comments and text. Doing this blog is putting my life and struggles out there to one day help someone , but to also push myself harder, because I know everyone is watching and keeping up!
So, I've been thinking about where I am going to shop when I drop those dress sizes!! Number one on my list :
1. New York and Company- I want those cute little dresses that you can wear with leggings. I may even buy leggings! ( I have some already, but I refuse to wear them, OMG! Did I really just post this?)
2. American Eagle- I love, love, love their jeans! I can't wait to wear jeans that have those cute little tears and worn look :) If you see that my jeans have tears now, they were NOT made that way, I'm sure I busted the seam or I made them myself because they don't come in my size. It's exciting to me ....right now my jeans have elastic in the waist- ba..ha..ha!
3. Hollister- I love their t-shirts and long sleeve, fitted shirts ( Right now, all my shirts are fitted, but not in a good way :( )
4. Aeropostale- They have the cutest pajama pants! ( I wear , what Tim says , is a moo-moo - hahaha)
5. Victoria's Secret- Now, this list could get long! I love there bra's ( current bra- Lane Bryant) I don't want to have to buy extenders anymore. Next, the cute little underwear! They are so bright and cute! No More Granny Pannies for me America!!!!
6. Motherhood Maternity( maybe a result of number 5, haha)- I hope to shop here only when I have a healthy body , after all, this is one of the main reasons. I want a shirt that says "bun in the oven", "hot moma", or one that says, " baby makes the belly go round' ".
Keep the comments and motivation coming...it brings on the perseverance!! Be patient with me on the blogging, I am getting use to it and I will soon learn to make it pretty!
James 1:2-3 ="Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance".

Cravings!

Today is Friday .... Oh how I want a cheeseburger from Woodbridge!! But , I didnt! I have been craving terrible things for the last few days. It's my body's way of getting angrey with me because I am training my brain to fight these cravings. My husband is the best cook I have ever met.  I'm not just saying that because he is my husband, it is honestly the truth. He creates things, they are phenominal! Last night we had salmon with a raspberry and pecan sauce and fresh green beans. It was really, really good. I enjoyed it. We had just one serving but it was enough. I wasn't miserably full. I had a good feeling after we were done with dinner. I had energy!! After our walk I had a yogurt ( I put it in the freezer, it was like ice cream) Today wasn't bad. It's still not easy but I think everyday how worth it, it will be!! I have never been so determined in my life. I need motivation, kind words, & encouragement. I thank everybody who has loved me for me and never seen size. I really appreciate it. I want to be an example and encouragement to others and I dont want this to be a set back for life, a family, and my health. Besides....Life just wouldn't be the same without "Dan",right? Lol. Candace Jerkins was correct when she said it's about accountability! I am going out with the girls tonight and I'm sure I will laugh away some calories. I don't want to be perfect just Christ like. He died for me, I am going to live for him. I won't give up this time.......I won't!!
(Deuteronomy 25:15 But thou shalt have a perfect and just weight, a perfect and just measure shalt have: that thy days may be lengthened in the land which the Lord they God giveth thee.)

The Track!

So, here is the first check-in . Yesterday Tim and I went to the hospital track to walk. It was my idea. I was ready!! The first lap was nothing, I was telling Tim how "slow" he was walking. Well, lap 2, I start to get a little winded especially walking up the slope. Guess what, Tim is doing well....he is just walking along talking, smiling, talking about the future. Okay Mister! I need you to stop asking me questions! I am winded , not use to walking, and I DO NOT want to talk! Lap 3, my legs are shaking, I'm still winded, I think I may fall walking down this hill......Tim is still talking !! Towards the end of this lap he says , " Babe you've got this, keep up a steady pace we are almost there." I am thinking , SHUT-UP! I have asthma , a buldging disk, morbidly obese, and you want me to keep up a steady pace??? Lap 4, I am about to faint, I no-longer have control of my legs, I'm shaking, can't hardly catch a breath, and I may even cry......Tim is still talking!! We have maybe 50 ft. of hill left in this last lap and I am ready to give up!! I can't do this! I say out loud, " I can't do this, I'm hurting!" Tim grabs my hand and says,"Babe, I am going to do it with you , yes you can, look down and you will be there before you know it." Well, I did just that and when I looked up I was done! Yay! We finished, together! It was just one simple mile, but it was a mile that I didn't think I would ever make it through, but I did!! Ready to do it again!